30 Bob

Bana, let me tell you, times are tougher than trying to open a packet of crisps with greasy fingers. I mean, I just checked my wallet, and it’s so empty, it echoes when I scream into it. Money has decided to take a marathon with these economy legs, sprinting away like it’s in a cash Olympics. We can’t keep up – it’s like playing tag with a gazelle, and I’m always ‘it.’

I’ve been living on the edge of brokeville for days. My pocket is so barren; even the dust bunnies have packed up and left for greener pastures. But fear not, my friend, Ogutu Brian Mark, the financial savior, emerged from the shadows today, sending me a whopping 30 bob. International folks, that’s a solid 0.21 dollars, or as I like to call it, “economic confetti.”

With that 30 bob, I became a budgeting ninja. I spent 20 bob on a ngumu and a sachet of sugar to concoct a cup of tea that could raise the Titanic – tea for the strong-hearted but financially feeble. That meal, my friend, handled my hunger like a quarterly report, leaving me with a victorious 10 bob.

But seriously, what in the name of a government is going on? It’s like they’re taxing everything, including the air we breathe. I heard they’re considering taxing daydreaming; you close your eyes for too long, and there goes another shilling. I even heard they’re taxing taxes; pay a tax for every tax you pay. It’s so confusing; I feel like I need a tax consultant just to navigate my way to the bathroom.

And don’t get me started on the job market; it’s so dry, even the Sahara is jealous. People are graduating left and right, but there are fewer job opportunities than there are uses for a chocolate teapot. Investors are fleeing the scene like it’s a sinking ship, and who can blame them? Trying to make a profit here is like trying to find a needle in a haystack during a solar eclipse.

In conclusion, bwana, it’s clear you can’t tax a nation into prosperity. It’s like trying to water a plant with soda – it might look promising at first, but in the end, you’re left with a sticky mess and a plant that’s more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. So, let’s all hope for a brighter financial future, where the only thing taxed is our patience.

@okelododdychitchats