What’s Love Anyway

There was a time, wasn’t there? 
A time when love felt like everything. 
When we didn’t need to ask permission for it to stay. 
It just showed up, uninvited, and we welcomed it like an old friend. 

We thought it would stay forever, didn’t we? 
We thought we’d always walk side by side, 
Two hearts beating in unison, 
Believing that nothing could tear us apart. 

But somewhere, somewhere in the silence, 
Love changed. 
It changed, almost without notice. 
One day, we were laughing, and the next, silence. 

It’s strange, how love can be so gentle and so harsh, 
All at once. 
How it can bloom and fade, 
In a breath, in a glance. 

The hand that once held yours, so tenderly, 
Now feels distant, cold. 
And the words that once lifted you, 
Now fall heavy, like stones. 

It’s not always the big gestures that tear us apart. 
Sometimes, it’s the things left unsaid, 
The silence in between. 
The small fractures that no one sees, 
Until they break wide open. 

And you stand there, staring at the pieces, 
Wondering when it all fell apart. 
Wondering when you lost yourself, 
And when love became a stranger. 

But here’s the truth I’ve come to know,
Love doesn’t disappear. 
It doesn’t vanish like smoke. 
It leaves a mark. 

It leaves a scar, 
Not one that makes you weaker, 
But one that makes you stronger. 
Because, after all, we survived it. 

We carry love with us, 
Even when it’s gone. 
We carry the warmth, 
The joy, the sorrow. 

Love may not last forever, 
But it teaches us more than we ever thought we could learn. 
And when the pieces finally settle, 
We realize we’re still here, still standing. 

So, yeah, love hurts. 
It breaks you down. 
But it also builds you up. 
And that’s something we can carry with us, always.

But then, we pause, 
And we wonder, 
What is love, really? 
Is it the promises we make and break? 
A fire that flickers, then fades? 
Or is it just the quiet moments, 
When we finally learn to love ourselves, 
Without needing anyone else to show us how?

@okelododdychitchats

How Busy Can Someone Be?



The clock swallows minutes whole,
Gulping down greetings, gnawing on goodbyes. 
Excuses stack like bricks against a door, 
While silence hums between us,
thick as stone, 
thin as breath. 

A phone vibrates, a message waits, 
Unanswered. 
I see you read it.
A thousand reasons grow in that space, 
But not one blooms into a simple, 
“I’m thinking of you.”

How important must a life be 
To lose the weight of one small word? 
How far must a soul stroll
To forget the way home is paved 
with pause, 
and presence, 
and tender replies? 

What do we build with our busyness? 
A monument of meetings, 
A kingdom of calendars. 
We count every second, 
but never the heartbeats missed 
between deadlines. 

We are architects of absence. 
Masters of the unsaid. 
Too proud, perhaps, 
to admit that we let love sit idle 
while we sharpened schedules into swords 
and called it survival. 

Wahenga na wahenguzi said, 
Akufukuzaye hakuambii toka.
The one chasing you never says leave. 

What are you still waiting for?
What more do you need to realize you’re not wanted?
Respect yourself!…


Somewhere, there is a hand 
reaching for yours, 
A voice waiting at the edge 
of a message unsent. 
Kindness grows fragile 
when left in the dark, 
but it never dies. 

So, how busy can someone be? 
Busy enough to forget,
but not enough 
to stop remembering.

@okelododdychitchats

Pieces of Me

I’m not stubborn about most things. 
I want to change, I really do, but not everything. 
There are pieces of me I just can’t let go of,
Like my accent, which always feels like home.
Or my style, which speaks for me without a word.
And my team, Manchester Red, through the wins, the losses, and the heartbreaks. I stick!
Those are pieces of me I’ll never trade. 

But some things? I’ll leave behind. 
I’ll swap the bars for church,
Trade the noise for peace, 
Let my spirit find rest in quieter places. 
I’ll keep my screen time, I’m not ready to fight that battle,
But I’ll change what I’m watching. 
No more wanking to strangers’ explicit tapes.
No more moments that leave me feeling emptier than before. 
Instead, I’ll open a Bible. 
Not promising to be holy, 
But I’ll seek meaning in verses rather than fleeting thrills. 

And that muscle, that restless, familiar muscle?
It’s time I show it some respect.
But you better behave too.

 I sit, thinking about what stays and what goes. 
The pieces of me that make me who I am,
my voice, my name, my roots,
those will always be mine. 
But I’m ready to grow. 
Not all at once, but slowly,
Like a tide reshaping the shoreline,
like a man learning to carry himself differently. 

I’m not stubborn,   
I’m just figuring it out. 
Step by step, choice by choice,
trying to become someone better
without losing the parts of me that matter most.

….. And to you all , this isn’t a series of “we listen but we don’t judge.”

@okelododdychitchats

Fading Notes of The Heart

For the first time in my once-bright life, 
I feel love slip away, 
draining quietly from a heart 
that once brimmed with warmth and fire. 

Because of her,
passion now feels like a distant memory, 
her eyes, once alive like sapphire stars, 
now hold no light for me. 
The smile that once lifted my world 
has faded into something I barely remember. 

I knew love once, 
I felt it in her touch, 
in the way she made life seem full of wonder. 
But now, that wonder feels hollow, 
a shadow of something I can no longer reach. 

The beauty I once saw everywhere 
seems to have vanished. 
Dreams feel brittle; 
hope feels like a foolish story I once believed. 

Her absence is a quiet void, 
and love, once a tender, living thing, 
is now just a ghost 
I can’t hold on to. 

And so I go on, 
not with the joy I once knew, 
but with a quiet acceptance 
that the song of my heart 
will now play softly, 
alone. 

@okelododdychitchats

Holy Hypocrisy

Why did I stop going to church? One of the funniest reasons I’ve heard is, “My pastor was crippled and healing cripples. Like, why not heal yourself?” It’s a dark statement, but I get where they’re coming from. Let’s be honest, are these people God’s messengers or money makers in Poverty Pulpits ?

I believe in God, but I have a million questions. My friend and colleague, Evans Asudi challenges me every time we have a discussion about religion and the existence of God, he argues that the design of the universe, nature, and everything in it must have an origin. My question is, is that origin the God of the Christian Bible, Allah of the Muslim Quran, or the supernatural forces in Buddhist texts like the Tripitaka? I’m not saying these religions worship entirely different gods. They argue as if they do, but interestingly, they all seem to agree on the same devil. Crazy, right? Anyway, I believe in God and identify as Christian, but I rarely go to church. I have my reasons !

As a kid, I always questioned my existence, and while that hasn’t changed, I now find myself questioning the origins of religion. Who created it, and what was it really meant to achieve? History shows how religion has been used to create divisions, often for political gain, and it still happens today. Different religions hold varying beliefs, and even within Christianity, denominations clash. Paul even addressed this in Corinthians, questioning why Christians were divided when they were all baptized in Christ’s name. These divisions are often exploited for political purposes, given the strong influence religion has on society and politics.

I was raised in a strict Christian background where questioning the church or its leaders was off-limits. It was considered disrespectful and even thought to bring curses. Looking back, I laugh at how much I used to fear that. But, even as a kid, I could see pastors giving in to “earthly” temptations, sins they were never held accountable for. They seemed untouchable, immune to any form of criticism. Over time, this made me start questioning things more deeply, and now it’s part of why I find it difficult to step inside just any church today.

To make sense of where we are, let’s start with the history of Christianity. It began in the 1st century after Jesus’ death as a Judaic sect with some Hellenistic influences. The Catholic Church claims to be the original, with the first church said to be in Jerusalem. Over time, Christianity branched into several groups like the Church of the East, Oriental Orthodoxy, Eastern Orthodoxy, Roman Catholicism, Protestantism, and Restorationism.

In its early days, the traditional churches built schools, hospitals, and provided services that genuinely benefited the community. They did this without exploiting their congregants. But as time went on, evangelical churches started popping up what one of my great of all time writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie calls “mushroom churches” in her book “Purple Hibiscus”. I’m not generalizing all evangelical churches, but many sprouted after the colonial period, often without any regulation, and some have become quite problematic.

These churches often target vulnerable people, especially our mothers. With this, sometimes, I tend to believe that the colonialists had a plan,  schools for the children, prisons for the fathers, and churches for the mothers. Anyway, that’s just a detour, let’s get back on track…A lot of these churches manipulate their followers, brainwashing them into accepting whatever the pastor says without question while reasoning that questioning will lead to the unthinkable,absurd! When pastors claim that questioning them will lead to whatever, it’s really just a way to manipulate their followers. You don’t fail or fall by speaking up or seeking answers for God’s sake !

Times without number, I’ve also heard pastors glorify poverty, insisting that wealth distances you from God, they say that having money makes you less inclined to pray. These same pastors live in luxury, strikingly paradoxical ! Some even discourage their followers from seeking medical help, claiming that doing so demonstrates a lack of faith in God, despite the Bible stating, “faith without action  is dead.” Are they referring to something who’s content they do not understand or did it change overnight ?

It’s ironic how these extreme churches often have the largest followings. And what really frustrates me is the constant fundraising, with no transparency on where the money goes. I’m tired of seeing congregants grow poorer while pastors grow wealthier. Churches should be shaping and speaking up for the community, but many stay silent when it doesn’t affect them…I am just sick and tired of this top tier deception, emotional control, psychological tactics, coercion, gas lighting, name it all! let me take a break! One day, we’ll go deeper into this, especially on how pastors are now called “Daddy” and their wives “Mummy.”

@okelododdychitchats

Bad Man Bache

“Larry Madowo fascinates me! Someday, I’ll be like him-maybe even better! I adore him, I love watching him, let’s go watch The Trend.” These were Steve’s words. Back then, Larry was still just a journalist working for Nation Television (NTV) and hadn’t yet risen to the heights of his career. Steve admired him deeply and loved how he did his journalism. The first time I watched “The Trend” by Larry Madowo was because of Steve. I loved it, except for the time slot-10:00 PM on a Friday! Despite that, it became a weekly routine. Steve influenced a lot in my life, he rekindled my love for football, got me into PlayStation, and would even walk me through the ladies’ hostel just to do nothing! (This is unnecessary information for sure) Steve is a good man, he’s going to heaven for sure.”

Steve, drop that! Let’s call him Bache. Bache is now a three-time award-winning journalist. He began his journey right after campus in 2021, starting with the BetKing Premier League (The Kenyan Premier League (KPL) was rebranded as the BetKing Premier League due to a sponsorship deal with BetKing, a sports betting company), then moving to Mozzart, and now he’s at Sportpesa making history. He loves sports. He has become my favorite journalist, so natural and creative! He writes and hosts the “Match-Xperience” segments. What I’ve learned from his journey is that it’s all about passion, sticking to the plan, and being focused. It’s less about being a jack of all trades and a master of none! Bache is amazing. I love his minimalist nature, how he goes about things, how carefree he is, and his sense of humour. Honestly, I love how he manages to do it all, from work to managing his finances-he’s quick at thinking and solving problems. The only thing he might struggle with, though not badly, is style and fashion. He’s a bit basic in that department. And oh, I almost forgot, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Or Bache, do you have one now? If you do, I’ll gladly accept her, just make sure she doesn’t drop the name Bache! And to any ladies reading this, Steve is a good man!

Bache was the first one to attend class, it wasn’t his problem! He was just doing the right thing by showing up, kwani nini ilitupeleka shule ? But for the Logic and Critical Thinking lecturer, Ochieng Jaffas (I hope I’m spelling that right), having only one student for the first class was a big deal, infact a sacrilege. His comments afterward really set the tone and filled us with dread. We were first-years, after all, we had to fear! Jaffas was a Cold-hearted atheist who didn’t believe in God or Thomas Aquinas’ theories on God’s existence, despite having once wanted to become a priest. His way of teaching tickled the funny bone. But I’m getting off-topic. Jaffas instilled fear in us, making us believe we would all fail-except Bache, who attended class. That fear changed a lot of people’s views on higher education. Eventually, Bache joined us in our antics, and despite being jokers, we all passed our exams. We mastered the content in class and watched UEFA Champions League matches during the exam period. You could say we were geniuses!

Oh, and there’s something else, Bache is actually my cousin. I didn’t even know until a coincidental, and somewhat unfortunate moment. It’s one of those stories I’ll tell someday, but for now, let’s just say it’s a part of what makes our bond special. Life has a funny way of connecting the dots, doesn’t it?

I could say a lot more about Bache, but I’ll stop here for now. We’ll continue this conversation once I master the art of speaking confidently in front of a crowd!

@okelododdychitchats

Me, Not Them

Why blame a group for one’s mistake? 
Why talk of fairness, then defend the flip side? 
We need to see each person’s truth, 
Not punish many for the fault of one.

When will we learn we’re not the same? 
Don’t make others carry the blame. 
We’re all unique, with paths we choose, 
It’s unfair when innocent people lose.

Stop seeing groups, start seeing hearts, 
That’s where understanding truly starts. 
No one deserves another’s shame, 
Each person should answer for their own slip-up.

If someone’s wrong, they should pay, 
But don’t let others stand in the way. 
We’re not a crowd, just many souls, 
With different dreams and different goals.

Let’s be kind, let’s be fair, 
Look at each person as an individual. 
Don’t group us all with one mistake, 
We’re not the same !

We’re all more than what others do, 
So treat each person as someone new. 
When we do, we’ll start to see, 
A world that’s fair and truly free.

*********

Why do people blame entire groups for what one person does? It’s unfair to speak of double standards while defending or justifying a behaviour (My take). We need to stop grouping people by gender, culture, or appearance and start seeing them as individuals. If I’ve done something wrong or if I keep making mistakes, brand me and blame me all you want, but don’t blame all men/women, my community, or my friends. It’s me, not them.

Painting everyone with the same brush denies the unique truth of each person. We shouldn’t be defined by someone else’s mistakes just because we have something in common…When will we learn that everyone walks their own path? No one deserves to be judged based on what others have done.

Holding oneself accountable is a vital piece. It’s unjust to make an entire group suffer for what one person did. True justice means looking at each individual, seeing them for who they are, and holding them responsible for their choices, not blaming everyone who looks or lives like them.

We should all strive to treat each other with fairness, kindness, and understanding. There is no “them” and “us, “only people, each with their own story. If we can learn to see individuals clearly, we can make the world a better, more peaceful place.

In the end, treating others with empathy and reason is how we grow as a society. When we stop blaming groups and start focusing on individuals, we create room for understanding and change. Only then can we truly move toward peace and fairness for all.

@okelododdychitchats

If I Fail to Wake Up Tomorrow

If I fail to wake up tomorrow,
Know that I fought with all my might
Against the demons that plagued my mind
I battled through the darkness
But in the end, I couldn’t find the light
My soul was weary, my heart was tired
And I found solace in stepping into eternity,

If I don’t wake up tomorrow,
Tell my friends I’ll miss them dearly
The laughter, the memories, the tears we shared
Will forever be carved  in my  silent whispers lost in time
I hope they find peace in knowing
That I am finally free from the pain
That haunted me every waking moment
I’ll be watching over them from above

If I fail to wake up tomorrow,
Promise me you’ll take care of yourself
Don’t dwell on what could have been
Live your life to the fullest, cling to the warmth of joy
That I could never fully appreciate
Treasure like gold every sunrise, every sunset
And know that I am always with you
In spirit, in memory, in love

If I don’t wake up tomorrow,
Tell the world my story
Let my struggles be a lesson
That mental health is not a joke
That a smile can hide a world of hurt
And that reaching out for help
Is not a sign of weakness, but of strength
Break the stigma, break the silence

If I fail to wake up tomorrow,
Know that I am at peace
No longer shackled by my fears
No longer drowning in my tears
I am free to soar amongst the stars
To dance in the moonlight, to bask in the sun
I am finally whole, finally content
In the arms of endless rest.

Let my legacy be one of love
Of kindness, of compassion
And may my journey to the beyond  bring awareness
To the struggles we all face
So if I fail to wake up tomorrow
Know that I am at peace
And that I will always be watching over you
From the heavens above.

@okelododdychitchats

Grip of Greed

I love my country,
Its colours and borders are chiseled deep into my dark skin, 
My blood flows red, black, white, and green,
I am a proud one,
Two Kenyan bands tied firmly around my left hand,
I love Kenya, but I despise how it is led.

I don’t hate the government, no,
I hate the hands that twist its helm,
Hands that do not care,
Or do they? 
Critic them, and you’ll vanish,
Stay silent, and they’ll rob you blind. 
Either way, their touch is venom,
Public funds dissolve like mist in their touch,
Gone without a trace,
And we are left with shadows.

I abhor those who think power belongs to their kin, 
Simply because a tribesman sits at the table, 
A tribesman who feeds only his belly, 
While we starve on promises. 
What is this thing called tribe, anyway? 
I say shut it!
I am Luo, 
And I love my kikuyu babes, free from the stains of prejudice
Judge the soul, not the community ! 

But even with sober judgement,
Everything goes gray,
A dull, endless gray,
Because of one thing!
Poor governance.

I blame the government,
Not for its existence,
But for its grip of greed,
For the hunger that devours our future whole.

@okelododdychitchats

Just Look at her !

Look at how good-looking she is
A vision of beauty, a sight to behold
Her melanin is well spread in her skin
A rich, deep tone that shines like gold

Her nails are perfectly straight
A subtle detail that adds to her charm
She takes care of herself, that much is clear
Every part of her exudes grace and calm

Her skin shines like a beacon of light
Radiant and smooth, like silk it gleams
A labor of love, a gift from above
She treats it like a treasure, in her dreams

Her choice of lipstick is flawless
A shade that complements her every smile
Kissable and inviting, it draws you in
A temptation that’s impossible to defile

Her figure is a work of art
Curves that flow like a gentle stream
Aesthetically pleasing, perfectly crafted
By a maker who knew just the right scheme

She is my crush, my sulwe
I can’t help but long for her
I want her to be mine, to hold her close
To cherish her beauty, to never erase

I don’t want this to end in heartbreak
I want our love to blossom and grow
To see her smile, to make her happy
To cherish her always, to let our love flow

For who would want to waste such beauty
On pain and sorrow, on tears and strife
I want her by my side, forevermore
To walk together in this beautiful life

So look at how good-looking she is
And see the love that shines in her eyes
I am captivated, I am enchanted
By this girl who has captured my skies

I want her to be mine peacefully forever
To hold her hand, to never let go
To be her rock, her safe haven
To love her endlessly, that much I know

For she is my type of girl
The one who makes my heart sing
The one who completes me, who makes me whole
My love for her will forever cling

So let’s cherish this beauty, this love divine
And let’s make a promise to never let go
For she is the one I’ve been searching for
The one who makes my heart aglow.

Just look at her !

@okelododdychitchats