Those Days

On bad days, when my heart feels heavy and my mind is clouded by shadows,
I turn to my pen.
Each word, each line becomes a lifeline,
a way to find my path through the fog of my emotions.

But there are days when inspiration eludes me,
when sadness grips me tightly and refuses to let go.
On those days, I find myself crying out into the darkness,
my tears soaking into the woven knitted material of my pillows,
the only witnesses to my silent suffering.

I long for someone to understand,
to share the burden that weighs so heavily on my soul.
Yet, in the silence of my solitude,
I am left to wrestle with my demons alone.

Hope becomes a distant memory,
a flickering flame struggling to survive in the midst of an endless night.
Sleep escapes me, leaving me to wander through the darkness of my thoughts,
haunted by the specter of despair.

But even in my darkest moments, I cling to the belief
that somewhere, somehow, there is light to be found.
And so, I continue to write,
to pour out my heart onto the page,
in the hope that one day, the shadows will recede
and the sun will shine again.

@okelododdychitchats

Fear and Desire

Loving someone deeply, it’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, feeling the exhilarating rush of emotions while simultaneously trembling with fear of the unknown. You can sense the depth of your love, like a warm hug wrapping around your soul, but expressing it feels like navigating a puzzle of uncertainties.

The words “I love you” hang heavy on your tongue, like precious gems waiting to be unearthed, yet somehow they remain lodged in the depths of your heart, hesitant to escape. The thought of losing her sends shivers down your spine, like a chilling gust of wind sweeping through your core, leaving you breathless and anxious.

The titles of boyfriend or husband seem like weighty crowns, heavy with expectations and responsibilities you’re not sure you’re ready to bear. The idea of promising forever feels like building a castle on shifting sands, unsure if the foundation will hold against the relentless tides of time.

And the thought of her bearing your name, becoming Mrs. Okelo, feels like drawing a line in the sand, a boundary between the known and the unknown, between comfort and vulnerability. You know you want to be with her, to share your life and dreams, but something holds you back, like invisible chains tethering you to your fears and uncertainties.

You’re haunted by the specter of failed relationships, like ghosts from the past whispering tales of heartbreak and betrayal, leaving scars that refuse to fade. The fear of watching love turn to hate, of seeing the once cherished title of Mrs. Okelo into the bitter resentment of a proud Miss, cuts deep into your soul, a wound that never seems to heal.

But amidst the darkness of doubt and fear, there is a glimmer of hope, a flicker of courage burning bright within you. You want to confront these fears, to unravel their tangled web and emerge stronger on the other side. You may not know how to tackle it, or how you’ll survive it, but you’re willing to take that leap of faith, to face the unknown head-on, because love, true love, is worth every ounce of fear and uncertainty.

@okelododdychitchats

Betrayed !

Who says a typical African man cannot cry?
I’ve shed tears countless times,
The pain was overwhelming,
It cut deep into my soul.
I gave my all in love,
Only to be hurt,
Like searing drops of plastic on tender skin,
Like the agony of removing a tattoo.
It felt as if a dagger pierced my heart…
She deceived me all along,
And I, blinded by love, believed her empty words.
I mistook her companions for friends, for allies,
Yet they were all feasting from her pot,
Or what I once thought was mine.
Was I inadequate?
Or was I simply not enough for her?
I am exhausted,
I cannot endure this any longer.
Even in my realization, I cannot welcome you back,
I’ve become wary after being bitten twice.
Your presence no longer comforts me,
Your touch, once tender, now feels abrasive.
I recoil from your hug,
It’s as though I’m being pricked by thorns.
I cannot continue like this!
I am weary and worn, I am tired !

@okelododdychitchats

Beyond the Chills

The world can feel like a frosty place, doesn’t it? Life’s challenges seem to be stacking up with each passing day. We, Kenyans, are acutely sensing the biting cold, down to the very last layers of our not-so-well-insulated skins.

Taxes are soaring to heights that defy reason, leaving us grappling with the chilling reality. Basic commodities now carry price tags scaling even higher than the mighty Mount Everest. To add a financial frostbite, the dollar has mercilessly surged to Ksh.164, rendering our economy against the dollar nearly worthless.

In the job market, opportunities are as scarce as water in a desert, and those few that do exist often come with meager paychecks that barely cover the essentials. Capital to kick-start our dreams is a distant mirage, making the pursuit of our aspirations feel like an uphill climb without proper gear.

Yet, in the midst of our struggles, we are unfairly branded as a generation seeking an effortless existence. It’s a label that does not resonate with the hardworking individuals among us. This is not an endorsement of laziness, rather, a plea to recognize and support those of us who are diligently striving against the odds.

Let’s acknowledge the harsh truth – our generation is not lazy, Look a little closer, stare a little longer beyond the chills. For those who tirelessly toil, I stand as an advocate. We need a respite, a breather from the relentless pressure and the judgmental gazes that surround us. Allow us the space to figure out the challenges without the burden of unnecessary stereotypes.

Times have changed, and so have the circumstances. Give us the time to adapt. While a degree of pressure is inevitable and can be motivating, let it be a healthy force that propels us forward, not a weight that drives us into the depths of depression.

It’s crucial to recognize that undue pressure and criticism have claimed the lives of many promising young individuals. Depression has become an insidious foe, leading people astray in the midst of their struggles. Let us collectively stand against this silent killer.

Guide us, support us, but do so with empathy. Spare us from the kind of pressure that can tip the balance towards despair. We need time to find our way, to carve a path through the challenges that life throws at us. Let us unite in the fight against depression, ensuring that no loved one becomes a tragic statistic of suicide simply because we failed to extend a helping hand and instead burdened them with unnecessary pressure.

Together, let’s stand against depression and build a world where the weight of life’s challenges doesn’t crush the spirit but strengthens it.

@okelododdychitchats

Just Drop a Comment

When do you find yourself grabbing that pen and paper? Is it during tough times when emotions are running high, and writing feels like a way to tackle the challenges life throws at you? Or is it in moments of pure joy, when even the ordinary things bring happiness, and you catch yourself smiling at everyone, even someone you’re not too fond of? Personally, I used to think I was most creative when feeling a bit down, not necessarily to express my feelings but to capture what I saw in small gatherings at barazas, the lively conversations in tailoring shops, the buzz in barbershops, or even the snippets of life heard in matatus. Writing about these observations used to be a kind of therapy for me. However, recent realities have hit me hard, filling my once-bright mind with empty thoughts that have taken away my usual good vibes.

I’m not looking for sympathy here, I’m just curious about how your year is going. Is it turning out to be good, or are you facing some challenges? While it might be early to ask, haven’t they said that you can sense the quality of a day from the morning? Let’s think of that metaphorically. From talking to a few people, it seems that, despite some initial confusion, many are finding this year to be interesting. What’s interesting is the lack of the usual flood of boring “happy new year messages” and the absence of big unachievable resolutions. Instead, people seem to be having more practical discussions, focusing on solid financial plans and pursuing their interests with passion.

Going through the current situation is a bit of a challenge for me, with the uncertainty of tomorrow hanging over. I’ve never been one to predict the future, and while it might seem a bit tricky, there’s a sense of hope pushing me forward. My plan is simple: prioritize things that bring me joy and stay away from things that bore, drain, or stress me. Essentially, I want to create a happy space for myself and those around me….

How’s your year going? Share your thoughts in the comments! Let’s connect every Tuesday or on any day that suits you (we can vote a day). I am thinking about throwing in some interviews and sharing stories about different places. Just drop a comment to let us know what you’re enjoying and experiencing this year, and also, what topics you’d like us to dive into. I’m thinking of adding some opinionated sections. So, drop a comment – your input is crucial in shaping our conversations. Feel free to join the discussion! Just drop a comment !

@okelododdychitchats