Atieno

2013 was an interesting yet very challenging year for me. I was in form two, scoring mediocre marks in all subjects but English and Kiswahili. I was at the peak of my adolescent ages and despite developing an unending interest and thirst for ladies who I thought were beautiful, those that Biko Zulu would describe as “a lady who any lady would want to be and a lady who any man would want to be with.”  I lacked the confidence to approach them. The reason was that I thought my ears were abnormally big, and that type of bigness made me look more like an elephant than a human being. I mean, I did not have the confidence that I shyly portray nowadays. I am told by some people that I am confident, but I believe I am that type of shy that can make you fall when you see a beautiful lady – that type of shy that Marius Weyers portrayed in the Comedy, “The God’s Must be Crazy” as Dr. Andrew Steyn anytime she met Kate Thompson…I mean, I don’t know, but I believe I am still very shy…

Anyways, I was shy but I still kind of achieved what any young man at that age would want to achieve. Back in school, that is the Great Homabay School, we had our times when we did nothing but share our stories, and we from small villages enjoyed listening to what the Nairobians (students who lived in Nairobi) were saying. We believed they set the trend and were good in everything, including fashion, music, and women saving academics and discipline. We also believed that all who came from Nairobi were rich, though these were just beliefs and not close to any reality.

One time, as I was listening to one of them, I had him say that he got good looking girls in church, and he explained how easy it was to win a girl from church with her knowing that you are also a spiritual freak. So, I had to join a church. I found myself in the front row of the church my mother attended – this time at will. I must say this time everyone was not only shocked, but they were also happy. They knew the famous village party boy and one whose name was used as an example anytime indiscipline was mentioned had turned to be a good boy – a God-fearing one. Little did they know that I was just a man on a mission who had to do anything the Romans were doing and even do extra to be safe and to win…

My mum liked me even more, and because I am told I am easily likable, my pastor liked me. My pastor is a simple man, and I like him to date. I believe he is one of the few genuine pastors left on earth – those pastors who preach to build you spiritually and not to empty your pocket by insisting that the hand that gives is the hand that receives. My pastor and his whole family liked me, and speedily, the whole church liked me. I remember one-time women were having a meeting, and I eavesdropped only to hear one saying how much I had changed to be a good boy and how she loved how I carried out myself. She even said how my mother, Mary, who was absent in that meeting, was blessed to have a son like me.

In my errands as an active church boy who did everything in the church, including washing the church and waking up at 5:00 AM to attend morning glory services, I spotted a young beautiful lady. She was quite tall, light-skinned, had beautiful eyes, and always kept short hair. I believed this lady was beautiful in my perspective, and my friends too believed she was beautiful. Her name was, still is  Atieno. I started developing feelings for the lady but kept the information within myself. I was shy enough not to even say hi to her, but I admired every bit of her. I constantly lost attention when she walked, especially when she walked towards the church pulpit to pay her offerings or to receive a prayer of blessings from “daddy” – in African Mushroom churches, we call our spiritual fathers “daddy” and spiritual mothers “mama”.

I even changed my areas of strolling, I began strolling around the area where they lived, hoping to catch a glance of her. I kept this feeling within me for months till one time I felt I was courageous enough to say hi since I did not know and had never talked to a lady into becoming my girlfriend. I went straight to the point, and these were my words that day, “Hi Atieno, my name is Prince. I think I like you. Can we be friends, like can you be my girlfriend?” I saw her smile shyly, all I wanted was a chance to call her my girlfriend. I wondered if she would make my day, and she did make my day. She said yes and added by saying she admired me too and she told me I was handsome. From that day, I started thinking of myself as a handsome man because Atieno had said that. That gave me a confidence boost, and I am not bragging, but since then, beautiful ladies have been telling me of how handsome I am, Si ni mimi nakushow

Atieno was my first girlfriend, and after that second-term holiday, I went back to school bragging about how I had a beautiful girlfriend. She was slim yet meaty in the appropriate places, well-curved, and with the most beautiful face, I told my peers. I felt more like a man – my fellow men can relate to how fulfilling this feeling can be. I could now call someone’s daughter mine – not mine but could use the possessive “my” while referring to Atieno. I felt good, and what even made me feel better was the first time she sent me that well-written, calligraphed, and perfumed letter saying how much she missed me. I had now joined a group of people with girlfriends.

The relationship continued, and we visited each other during holidays, but since I was shy enough not to sin by even giving a mere kiss, we kept it cool by hugging, holding hands, and smiling back at each other – not making people have another perspective of me. I continued going to church and participating in church activities. The relationship continued until the time I joined campus. At this time, I admit things changed, and an unusual distance began to create itself, and it kept so till at some point we lost touch.

Since then, I’ve encountered other girls, experiencing heartbreaks both ways. Atieno, too, has met other men, but she remains a friend whom I deeply respect. It’s worth noting that our relationship never progressed beyond hugging, holding hands, and exchanging smiles. Atieno is and has always been a good person. By the way, I’ve become more spiritual than religious; nowadays, I rarely attend church. Long services focused on sowing seeds rather than spiritual growth are just not appealing to me.

@okelododdychitchats